Settling In Consoles: Transmigration – by Stephen “Joystick” Flemming

The title track from Humming Home, featured in the newest Rock Band, not only steals the show, but creates one of the most immersive musical gaming experiences of all time. So much so that Harmoics, the creators of the game, had to re-affiliate with RedOctane to create a new controller so that fans could properly appreciate and reproduce the unique sound of Samantha Gamgee’s laser harp.

Featured in the top commercial presaging the newest release of Rock Band, the band plays their newest title track, “Eating out Love.” Ms. Gamgee, who is now preoccupied with a pacifist paternalistic charity that aims to take all the fun out of rock and roll concerts forever, was not able to be a part of the filming of the commercial.

Actress Ellen Paige, most recently featured in “Beyond Two Souls,” was thrilled to take Gamgee’s place in the commercial due to her likeness to the dwarf musician and her deep appreciation for the laser harpist’s personal commitment to ending death by indie rock.

Although the replacement was intended with respect, Samantha quietly resented the role Paige took in the commercial, which filmed in front of a live, erupting volcano and featured twelve dancers wielding golden Olympic rings.

Her disdain for the commercial overall and claims of her stolen likeness resulted in lawsuits pointed at Harmoics and MTV. Regardless of the incredible sales of the video game, fans lashed out at protests in several major metro areas, and resulting riots ended in the death one Marmalade-look-alike and her Gameshop employee owner, Karen Dingleburg of Decatur, IL.

Upon hearing of the cat’s death, Samantha Gamgee’s Harp Strings foundation immediately dispatched Lee Greenwood to site of the death to headline a tribute.


The Perfect Album for an Audit – by Financial Times and WSJ

WIRED Magazine calls Transmigration’s third album, “Humming Home”, “a journey back to sophomore year of high school, when you had a date with your cousin.” The indie music collective returns to its humble beginnings without the insecurity of their earlier collaborations, combining wisdom and insight with the return of internationally acclaimed solo zither artiste Miguel Fairchild.

Fans anticipated this release with a mix of trepidation not seen since the day before The Phantom Menace opened in theaters.

Fortunately, the performance was met with better reviews than the movie, and the riots that started after fans realized the t-shirts the band shot from the stage had actually been worn and sweated in by Fairchild himself were quelled by police without too much fatality.

The families of those who were trampled by fans who intended to collect the shirts, roll them up and smoke them have filed suit in civil court, but attorneys for the venue predict the signed waivers declaring “anything can happen, and surely will,” absolve all liability.

The Transmigration laser harpist and world-famous dwarf Samantha Gamgee, has separated herself from her band mates in taking up the cause of anti-violence at rock concerts and soccer matches.

Her new foundation, Harp Strings, has raised more than seventy thousand pounds at press time, and intends to use the donations to put retired musicians like Eddie Money and Debbie Harry into schools, where they will advocate for the peaceful and quiet enjoyment of rock and roll